Julia led me here
To where I see the Hypnotic stare
Waking up
Neck rolling open
My eyelids flutter to see
I’m standing in a train
Every seat filled with someone I've loved
Or know
Love in every corner
The carriage Windows flicker and whirr
Lights racing
Images tearing
Speeding down
No noise at all
The rattle of a journey unbound
Just earthquakes in my heart
I see him staring at me
The lights glare at me now
Stop and shine
He steps forward
People move
Family and friends
Old loves and new
Armoured with fury
Grit and teeth
All in it to obey an unseen force
Deep within they
Grab my throat and arms
Press in their fingers
Twist their hold of my skin
Lock their legs against mine
Rip My clothes
Their jaws widening
Fallen stars in their fangs.
Dawdling rampage
Nightmare canines.
Force me to stand and listen
Breathing hard
He moves closer
I try to break free
A Choir of Hurt in slow motion
He reaches
Still time
And Glitches
Static prayer
Am I real?
Whose holding me?
I'm back and I'm dancing
Wonderland gone bust
Smell of alcohol replaces fear
The lights move back and the bass thumps
The track lifted and seats fall back
The train melts and becomes a dance floor
The glass coughs and walks by
Becomes an atonement in authenticity
The metal casing now wooden and flexing
Warps into
the bar from before
I need to stop doing this
Remembering things that never happened
He's gone
But I saw him here
What's happening.
There's a screen on the wall
It’s still playing out
Julia's swimming in the low tide.
Dancing in the seas spray.
Laughing at the spring moon.
Carries a conch shell and fools around.
The Sound drowns her.
Cracked lens films her.
Sunset in her sparkling old eyes
She's crying.
Just Out of sight.
Pink Luminous emotion.
Pale green ghosts.
Hallelujah.
Who am I?
Everyone ignores her.
Is this dreams colliding?
Caught in the crossfire.
Moving.
Falling.
Fallible heartbeat.
All I had.
I need someone to hold me
From this trauma
That isn’t mine
That’s the trouble with dreaming of empathy