lying is forcing back the ‘i love you’s on my tongue like im closing my eyes so hard i can only see black
it’s feeling the giddiness of admiration and love for you and telling you i hate you
it’s empty insults laced with adoration that i hope you won’t notice
my love has become a lie again

it has been pushed far back and it’s reaching out again, hoping you’ll see it

i want to believe there will be a time for my love to be free
when i can love you with my entire self and you will want that too

but for now it’s hiding
for now it’s pain
for now it’s pretending

for now-

it’s lying