We saw each other tonight. We talked about the ****** living situation you're in because we're no longer living together. We talked about old secret handshakes we had with our siblings and couldn't control the laughter. You asked to take me out to dinner soon, how quickly I wanted to say yes surprised me. I told you I would think about it instead. The way you love me eats me up inside and reminds me of the way I loved when I was younger. So selflessly and heart wrenching at the same time. How it hurt to love something that much, but I couldnt control it. How it felt like my brain was cracking in two and every cell in my body was exploding when they said they no longer wanted to be mine. I feel that way tonight, I feel that terrible pain in my gut that makes me feel like we should have never split up in the first place, that I should just forgive you and tell you to come back home. But I can't, not yet.