I fell in love with
a life so outside
of my own head;
I never know what
I want these days.
My thoughts scare me
so I tune them out
and try to live hedonistically.
When I am alone at night
I am left with them
and my arm often
ends up in tatters.
I don’t listen to myself.
I don’t know myself
and I don’t think I want to.
I exist only in relation to others
and my ignored thoughts
will torture me in death.