I fell in love with a life so outside of my own head; I never know what I want these days. My thoughts scare me so I tune them out and try to live hedonistically. When I am alone at night I am left with them and my arm often ends up in tatters. I don’t listen to myself. I don’t know myself and I don’t think I want to. I exist only in relation to others and my ignored thoughts will torture me in death.