I am tired of the notion
That my bad days outnumber my good
Because I am not trying to improve
I am tired of having to explain
How I feel
Why I feel
Why I don’t
I am tired of you saying you want to understand
Of you wanting to hear every detail,
No thoughts left unsaid
I am tired that when I begin to let you in
You start to pull away
You say my heart is too dim
I am tired
Of everyone telling me to stay
When they don’t want to deal
With the worst parts of me
I am tired of the notion
That expressing
That releasing
Is seen as romanticizing
When all I want is for it to go away
There is nothing ******* romantic about this
I want to get better.