symptoms of anhedonia. a triumvirate, perceived Inanition& Inertia& Inaptitude: they are ugly triplets who hide under leather and self-loathing &stink of last night’s pinot noir from **** knows where. their fingers, cigarette-stained and calloused, reach into my prozac pillboxes &crunch my anxiety (meds) into fluoxetine powder and ivory between their yellowing teeth.
I Do Not Cry When The Sandman Knocks For He Sits At midnight:the witching hour,whenthe My Porch Bearing Sweet siblings curl up besides me to Dreams &Sister Death, Whose Touch , ravage; I’ve Long Wished For they will not leave me untilthe cloyingly sweet perfume of Death is scrubbed clean fromthe
pulse point of my wrists
There is nothing There is nothing There is nothing There is nothing There is nothing for you here.
Nothing will bring me back. In three years time I’ll still be dead. My bed sheet is my shroud and Death holds my wrists in a vice grip. He still leads me below.
here is the untruth: i am here, Penelope at her loom, waiting for a lost lover whom I know will take ten years to come back to my awaiting arms.
here is the untruth: in three years time, I’ll still be dead.
here is the truth: nothing exists six feet under except: hell chalk dust powdered calcium.
a thing i wrote for my theatre course, inspired by Sarah Kane's "4.48 Psychosis." this was a monster to format and i hope it works?? this is v experimental and i am Sorry