it is difficult to find the right words when you don't want to be with somebody and yet when you envision them with another your bones are rattled with urgency; a feeling that occupies places in your body you didn't know existed the type of thing you can't seem to shake off you feel it under your skin and then, you are faced with two options: do you send him away because you don't truly love him? or do you become selfish trailing him around like dead weight knowing full well nothing will become of it but wanting to drag it out for as long as possible I looked you in the eye, felt your hands linger around my neck and knew in my heart I would only bring you pain as I have others but foolishly I clung to you like you were gold, not knowing that once you left the fools gold I had mistaken you as would turn out real, promising now you and I(because there is no "us") sit amongst mixed company, you in the back of the blue kia, I in the passengers your eyes bore into the back of mine I look out the window to drown you out and as you notice my disengagement you reach your hands to the back of my neck wanting to make me better again wanting me to save you from the grasp of my rigid behavior but how the **** can I save you when you were the one who was going to save me? don't touch my neck like you never left don't touch my heart don't make me shiver under your embrace because it was you I had to myself and it was you that I lost
I saw you today and it hurt so i'll tell you all the things i'd never actually say to you