he LOVED me
in ALL CAPS
he was loud in his affirmations
he told me i shouldn't be embarrassed
i was a ******* superhero, he said

he didn't hold back in how he loved me
he held me and i knew what i meant to him
he kissed me and i knew everything he was thinking
i was so taken care of,
even if he couldn't give me everything
the fact that he tried meant so much more

this is a special gift
he was a ******* treat, let me tell you

and my god,
when it was over,
nothing could have hurt worse

i didn't want anything that great again
if there was even a shred of possibility of feeling this again
with great love may come great loss, i told myself
is it even sustainable to do this again?

and he came back, with a different job and a new love
and my heart didn't flutter
he was in front of me, and i didn't reach out.
wanting the familiarity and safety of his touch

this is moving on
i thought i would be much sadder when this moment came
the eyes of former lovers meeting
recognizing and reminiscing
but that's about it

this is moving on
that's about it
i guess i expected more heartache as something to write about
since the wake of our destruction
was some of my best work