1.     My house is the same size as his mother's bedroom.
2. He was the first to notice the colour of my eyes.
3. He kept his left hand on my thigh and steered with his right.
4. He drew a long breath and breathed out a smoke on my face
5. He said men should not hurt their wives.
6. He drove sober while I leaned back with a bottle of cider in my hand.
7. He asked why I was so sad.
8. He told me he and his mother never talked.
9. I liked the feel of his hand on my hair.
10. He stopped kissing and wanted to talk about it
11. I've tried so hard to keep my wrists clean.
12. He claimed he was not looking for ***.
13. He only wanted me for my body.
14. I was not ashamed of my nakedness.
15. He stopped when I said no.
16. I fumbled; I was only a ******.
17. He sobered up in the cold shower while I lay in his bed, waiting.
18. I thought I heard my mother's voice from the back of my head, asking me my whereabouts.
19. I was somebody's daughter.
20. He was somebody's son.
21. There was a drawing by his kid sister, with a caption: the best brother in the world.
22. I felt too ugly to be lying there.
23. For all my life. I've wanted a brother. Someone who would protect me. Someone who would fight for my mother, who would gently cup my ears in the midst of my father's violence.
24. He came back and kissed me again.
25. I touched him because I was lonely.
26. I did not stop him from making marks on my neck.
27. I wanted to give myself up. I did not care. I had no reason to keep my virginity. But I was somebody’s daughter, and I...I loved myself too much.
28. He faltered at the mention of her name. He loved her. It was all too familiar.
29. He wanted to know how long I was staying.
30. My flight was only in eight hours.
31. I felt angry at his dominance over every events of my life.
32. I did not know how to forgive him. He, who was supposed to be my lighthouse, my shade. He made it so hard for me to trust, too vulnerable, always playing on the safe side. He hurt me too much.
33. He fell asleep with his back turned against me. I wanted to reach out to be held. But I did not know how to please him.
34. I was supposed to feel safe under my father’s shadow.