i really need to get some sleep but here i am, over analyzing everything.
i can't even open up to anyone without it being a joke. you think all those jokes about wishing i was dead are jokes?
i understand that you don't know me well enough to understand what i'm trying to say and why there is a half second of silence before the laughter when they try to figure out if i mean it or not.
just because i don't look upset or look unsettled or look insane or look i don't know, doesn't mean a thing.
just because i have no intent doesn't mean my mind is silent.
maybe i'm just really smart, keeping quiet, too quiet.
i laugh about my problems because it's the only way i can pretend they're not serious, the only way i can control my emotions, and then when i'm honest for half a second, it scares you.
you run away.
i thought we were going to be great friends, but honestly, who cares?
~if you don't care please tell me so i can add another name to my list. /s is this even considered a poem?