People hurt
Perfection is impossible
Efforts are put into both

No such thing as a perfect life
You can wish to be better, perhaps you can
But nobody can be the best

I tried to be the best
I wanted to be the best friend a guy can be
I have failed in this conquest

I placed efforts into Hippocrates Oath:
"First, Do No Harm"
Yet without meaning to I harmed anyway

Not just myself
No, this isn't me, me, me
As it always (usually) is

This is for my mates
And my friends
Difference being the genders involved

Mates are male,
Friends; female
Notice both start with the same letter?

That's me,
Organising things into some such logical order
To prevent falling into complete and utter chaos

It's a fixation of mine,
It just so happens it's also the way my mind works
Which even I, at times, fail to understand

My own mind; a concept, an idea,
One that at times fails itself
One that find self-harm acceptable, even understandable

I am such a hypocrite,
Instead of Hippocrates it's Hypocrites Oath:
"First, believe you won't do harm, believe it's bad,
And then do it anyway".

Some of this makes sense to you, Reader, I assume
Assuming that, of course, you can assume to know
What I assume you assume I'm talking about

Still following?
Okay, then I'm just rambling
Talking for no reason other than that I hate silence

I hate silence almost as much as I hate myself, at times
Silence is empty, like what I feel frequently
A genuine smile is a smile I wish to wear
(Not just to the Formal night I will be attending next year)

But how does one smile
When one has seen the truth of this world?
Cold, calculating and cruel, vicious and relentless

There is more wars then there are words to stop them
Only one world to hold these wars,
That at times words help to start

Not just talking about actual wars, either
Arguments that become full-blown hatred
Pain dosage as high as the painkillers to prevent them,
If not, higher...

I don't know what to think of myself,
Or this world that I live in
I've contemplated suicide on multiple accounts
Too "*****"to follow through...

But I have never done it, left, that is
I tried many, many, many times
But something... pulls me back

It's friendship. Family. Honour and Loyalty
I cannot leave those precious few I have
Until they themselves are gone

As long as everyone keeps living,
I guess I have to as well
Thank you for reading
*If you made it this far...