these days,
i feel i have become unlovable
they come and go and wouldn't even spit at my feet
they throw me away like a once-bitten apple
once they see a shinier, crisper one
on a branch only a little higher than where i hung

i feel i am a ghost
often it seems like i can never find a place to call "home"
especially not in my own body

i feel i am filled with fiery unrest
i will never watch the sun set peacefully
i will never "leave it be"

i feel i will never be happy
especially not where i am now