Where does girl with broken heart go?
Girl with sunken eyes and heavy chest
Girl with pressed on smile and recycled lips
Girl with sharp words dripping with forgiveness.
Where did boy with sunshine smile go?
Boy with electric hands and voice like rain
Boy with truthful eyes and honest lies
Boy with unsure insistence and blanket arms
Where do we go from here?
Because from what you say (or don't say)
Our options are not very clear.
Was our reunion after all these months,
Simply just to plan our farewell?
Maybe this is the beginning of the end.
Maybe we've reached the conclusion of our tale
Maybe we've been pretending there's still more to our story
The remainder of the book is wearing thin and neither wants to turn the page.
It is too final.
Too much like a tragedy, instead of the fairytale we'd hoped for.
Maybe I've spent weeks mistaking your silence for fear, when really you have nothing to say.
You know, it is very much the same for me.
I think that I have so much to tell you but whenever I open my mouth to speak,
My hearts already breaking
Whenever I want to pose a question
Your heads already shaking.
And I guess what I'm trying to say is that only my hands and my heart still love you, but my head doesn't know what to make of the stranger next to me.
And I feel like a fool because I swore I would always look for you in a dark room but you don't want to be found.
Even if you did, it would be both of us searching in-between forbidden kisses
Because you don't know where you are either, do you?
And I spent months thinking that I would have you any way I could get.
That anything would be enough 'cause you're the only one for me
But lately my hearts been playing tricks on me and my mind cannot come up with more excuses.
Because it hurt so much less when you didn't love me at all.
Now you love me in halves and quarters
And I just don't know how to break myself up like you do.
With me, it has always been all or nothing.
And don't you see that the scraps of affection you keep tossing my way feels
Like a whole lot of
Nothing.
Especially since I've already seen what you can give me in the past.
And then I start to wonder if I'm living in sweet memories and refusing to see how bitter reality has become.
You see, this is who we are now.
My problem is not that I can't live without you.
If you had to tell me you want nothing to do with me, I would blow you a kiss and be on my way.
My problem is that you plant hope in my heart whenever it suits you, and I'm too weak to refuse.
Especially when it feels so familiar and tastes like chocolate instead of heartbreak on our warm and wanting tongues.
And I don't know whether I am jumping to conclusions or hitting the nail right on the head.
Because I don't think and you don't talk and we've both been terrible, terrible cowards.
What happened to girl with poems pouring out of her soul and hands that reached out unafraid of rejection?
What happened to boy who reassured his intentions with every second sentence?
Where did they go and why did they leave and do they plan on coming back or can I please stop sitting at my window waiting for something to happen that deep down you know never will and deep down I'll always, always hope for?