I have tried.
I have tried to live like I really should live, I know what it is that I like.
I have lied.
I have never really tried.
I have only always wished, for trying requires courage that I don't have.
I am not lying.
I have known fear in ways it doesn't remain just a feeling:
I have felt it shooting up my spine
I have held my fingers to stop them from shaking and I have, at times, simply collapsed
Collapsed on the floor because my legs wouldn't want to carry my weight anymore.
So I have wanted, and I have tried, and I have wished for it to get better
But it only ever becomes a tad bit shade of 'fine',
And I can't compromise.
I have tried.