there's a roof outside my window. not too high, not too steep. whenever i lose myself in whatever I decide to call my nameless hell (perhaps Depression, or Madness, but more likely both; i've never been a fan of titles), my toes find their way to the edge of that roof. calm. unafraid. i did the same last night at 3 am. except, something was different. i was afraid this time. i had spent all that time on the roof, wondering if i was going to jump, until one night i did the same, hoping i wouldn't fall.