I can't breath today.

I can't help but wonder if
things are always going to be
this way
or
if something inside me
will change
with time
and things will start
to finally make sense.

I can't help but think that
I am dying
but I always feel this way anymore.
It's like a
shadow
that follows me
and clings to my back,
or sometimes it even
jumps out of alleyways and grabs me
when I least expect it,
when
I'm
happy.

For some reason I'm not
surprised that
I ruin everything
for
myself
because I cannot ever be content
with my
life
no matter how hard I try,
as something always
holds me back.

Maybe it's you.
Maybe it's me.
Who knows.

But
this is
suffocating me.