My eyes are burning And my *** needs some space This kid is staring at me He has a big grin on his face For 6 hours he's been awake Bouncing around on three seats It almost seems like someone Has given him **** to eat I stuff myself with pills To try to get some sleep But the kid is keeping me up So soon I'll make him weep I will whisper in his ear That santa isn't real And I'll describe to him How chicken-pox will make him feel I'll tell him about the dentist How bad it hurts to drill And how much he'll have to work To be able to pay his bills How hard it is to get a girl How expensive a driving lesson is The statistics of failing marriages And how you can get ****** from a kiss I'll tell him all of this and more If he doesn't sit down and shut up And if he still won't calm down I'll show him *******