I don’t know what it was
That made my life worse
But I know for certain
What made it all reverse.
I stopped lying to myself and
Stopped lying to others.
I started treating people
Like my sisters and brothers.

I crashed around in life
Like a gorilla in a cage
A big, loud, mindless baby
Too infantile to be acting
Like that at my age.
I was full of self-pity for
What I felt how much I hurt.
I kept an inventory of pain
And treated people like dirt.

People kept saying to me
“There are no big deals!”
I heard the words, but
I didn’t think they were real.
There are big deals for sure
Like cancer, AIDS and death
So, how can you say that, with
Anything like a sane breath?

“God never gives you anything”
They’d say, “that you can’t handle.”
Well, I won’t give you a match
To light that particular candle.
Tell that to the tiny babies lying
Deaf, blind and sick in cribs.
Gone before they are old enough
To even wear a baby bib.

You keep that circular logic.
No. Sorry, Next person please.
This one spent a long time
Praying to nothing on his knees.
I have found it is better for me
To look at life as what I make
And what I do about it all
Whatever effort it may take.

Investing in coins under pillows;
A gift from the fairy that wasn’t.
Accept a life without Santa Claus.
Stuff happens and sometimes doesn’t.
I don’t do myself any big favors
Lying to myself about me or you.
I have to learn what to do with
What is really beautiful and true.