If my friends knew
of the pain inside
and the technique I created
for my scars to show up
perfectly aligned
I do not believe
they would remain my friends much longer.

If my friends knew
how I cry at night
and try to choke myself with my own dark hair
and finally,
lay broken and sobbing
in the midnight air
I would not blame he or she
if they stopped being friends with me.

If my friends knew
how I turned to *** to numb the pain
or jumped out the window
to feel again
I wouldn't blame my friends
for saying Im insane.

Lastly and surely,
if my friends knew
how many times I have bled
or burned
or weeped
or screamed
or tore away my lover's clothes
to distract my brain from
burning eyes
my friends might figure out
my disguise.