I tried to end it all again,
and yet again I am still here.
I really dont understand.
I'm giving up on giving up.
I wont even try to try harder.
Im throwing my hands up and leaving suicide alone.
But the feeling of it wont let me go.
i can say for the most part right now
i am pretty content.
i just dont want to think anymore about anything.
there's so much bad in my life that the good is impossible to see.
subconsciously i see possibility...
I am trying to push myself forward and carry myself ahead.
even though pain still lingers onto my legs,
nails deep in my calves making it hard for me to keep going.
but i know that as long as im moving forward im making progress even if slowly...

Naaire, you had a post on your instagram that read:

Slow progress is better than no progress,

And with all that has been said...

i am trying to make myself better because im tired of feeling dread.
suicide was my only way
but really i was already dead...
i need to make myself feel Alive

but i've been drowning myself instead..

at the moment i am okay
i have time for just one breath

its been so long since i've been okay...
and i thank the powers for that..

and i will try to go further than where im at.