I start this off without any words
But they will come
This is a blessing and a curse
These words and memories I wish to forget are my salvation and damnation all in one
Inside I am screaming
No one knows
No one cares
What can I do ?
Nothing
I'm tired of being mad
I'm tired of being sad
All I want to do is to say what's on my mind
I just want to scream i'm afraid if I start I will never stop
Maybe that's not a bad thing
I'm trying to explain
It really hurts my brain
Who will care? I am afraid, I am so frightened of who I am I can't speak
I am usurped by panic at the thought of another day on this drudgery that is my own existence
There are no other options …
I am described as a disaster
Because my heart has been fixed with plaster
I may not have forgiven myself for the shame
But I can't wallow in my sorrow
Because I have to make something of tomorrow
Repedily  I  regurgitate the same old sentiment of positivity and hopeless hopefulness
That I have grown so accustomed to.
“ Tomorrow is a new and better day”
“ It has to stop raining sometime”  ~ Has anyone heard “ Our thoughts determine our reality”?
So if tomorrow is another day how should I face it should it become another today ?
So why do I continue to say these things ?
For the benefits of myself ?  
Or for those who are listening.



Written by:
Amanda O’Brien