Listening to songs that remind me of winter
Chilling guitars and ice cold skin
I taste bliss on chapped lips
Tiny hairs on my arms that go unnoticed stand on end
The heat is rising here, it feels like summer yet Christmas is fast approaching
I miss my childhood of hazy mornings, heavy eyelids appreciating windows pressed with mist
Layers of clothing that will never satisfy the warmth of my skin
I miss the innocence that I once held
Handprints on glass spaces facing city lights every day and night
Craving for warm bodies wrapped around thick blankets, awaiting the first sunrise of Christmas Eve
My family's love and warmth never beyond reach
I miss the way my stomach filled, as I exchanged smiles and gifts across the dinner table
And I despise the way such songs remind me of the way I felt during those winters

I miss the little girl who didn't care if her smile made her teeth look big

I miss the little girl with clean skin and intentions

I miss my family that always stood by each other

I miss the 10 years that slipped away from my fingers

I miss winter and how the little things remind me of excited footsteps echoing and filling up walls of a household of four individuals

The foggy windows, chilly mornings, familiar lights, laughter and smiles stored enough to keep our bodies warm for the days to come

I miss the songs sung by our stereos, pervading the air with joyous breaths as we exchange bright possibilities and futures

I miss the Christmas that I've always known

n.j.