There's a moment where you come to a ledge and you get to choose; to jump off and greet sanity, leaving the ******* up life you were oh so destined to have, or you can sit in the insanity and wait on your true judgement day, watching as emptiness and darkness swallows you whole from all the hurt and loss until you are truly destined to greet sanity. What do I choose? I want happiness...sanity.. But I also want life. So I'm stuck here, carrying on climbing the fields of fluorescent life around me, waiting for what will come first; jumping off or judgement day. It is a hard decision but what is even harder is the simple thought that I am being swallowed more and more by the emptiness and darkness that has taken hold as a shadow in my life. What is the hardest is fighting this shadow, thinking you are winning but instead it knocks you back off your feet, causing you to build bricks and bricks of walls to shut everything out so that the hurt doesn't consume you anymore.