"Just drop me off at the next corner.
I need to get out."

I'm amazed I've lasted this long
I have a **** in my side
that's got to be puncturing my spleen or liver or something by now

I stumble out of the car poorly
hand the driver a $100 dollar bill
and as he speeds off
my eyes adjust to the lack of light he left behind

I look around for an awning
pick the black garbage bag up from the damp ground
feel its weight in my sweaty hands
heavier than before

I pull it along side me to the back side of a bar
toss it gently on the ground
I feel fortunate I've found an awning
as it begins to rain again

I finger the scratch marks she's left on my arm
allow the rain to wash away the blood
as I glance at the garbage bag again
and start to choke up

My tears burn my cheek
begin to irritate my eyes
I feel lonely so I pull the top of the bag back just a bit
and look at her eyes
the skin around them is turning blue
blood's pooling at her mouth

The tears start up again
I'm sobbing like a baby without a bottle
as I lay down next to her
it
place the metal muzzle against my spleen or liver or whatever
watch it blow out the right side of me
and that's it
I see black