sitting on the bathroom floor
smoking kush behind the closed door.
listening to music/ all the bad i can ignore
i use it and i always feel better than i had before.

i think about every decision i've ever made
wondering why i never changed
wondering how things managed to go this way
if i hadnt done the things i did i cant help but imagine what wouldnt be the same

i stare into nothing
just lost
not really here
i can see
i can feel
i can hear
well aware
just not there
not anywhere.

i snap back into me
pull another dab plus
three
the drugs are not just killing me
they set me free
allowing me to be
where i've always wanted to be.
not here
not there...
not anywhere.
still
well aware...