When I fell I wasn't scared.

I let my arms throw themselves wildly in the air like you'd see in a film with Alice and the white rabbit.
I let my hair whip around my face,
slash it,
as the wind twirled me down the abyss.

I didn't cry and I didn't scream out.
I just closed my eyes and pressed,
flung,
drove forward.

It must have been two when you called because the neon "Miller Genuine Draft" sign had just gone off on 4th and Alamitos.
I remember picking my cell phone out of my pocket as I fell,
saw the blinking red light with your name glowing across it but I didn't pick up.
I could of, but I didn't because he was there and you weren't.

I licked the **** on the carpet and the car seats,
felt the lint and dog hair attach to my tongue just as I came in the abyss;
eyes rolling and body arching sensations of ecstasy ******* my insides.

The drop was like falling into a down comforter;
soft,
comforting,
generous.

And one,
two,
I was out.