Sitting there,
Attempting not to hyperventilate
She finds it hard to pace her breathing.

She’s drowning in the rinse cycle of her life

Trying hard to wash the fabric of her existence,
Cleanse the stains left behind from previous use,
She's doing as she needs to.

But she finds the whole thing disorienting
The walls close in
She struggles against the very process.

Yet she is fighting..
With every fiber of her being
To not give into habit
Natural brain chemistry…

Because she knows
If she falls apart now: it will all be for nothing
All the progress, effort wasted
And she wouldn’t have deserved it anyways.