"My cancer finally kicked in"
Mom says.
I guess her stage progressed.
Is that why she pushed me away this year?
Is that why she went on vacation and left us all here?
Coming slowly down the stairs with fluid in her belly.
I want to hold my tears but they've gotten too heavy.
I understand why she's been so mean.
I slice my hands as I scream
"mommy"
"Mommy"
"I don't want you to leave..."
"I forgive you for every thing you've ever done to me".
"Mommy, I love you.. Don't want you to go."
"cancer can't take you don't leave me alone"
She goes to the e.r but what can they do?
Cancer is killing my mom this afternoon
And I can't bare to look but I don't want to look away
Because what if when I close my eyes she goes to stay...
Cancer is taking my mommy home.
Cancer please leave my mom alone.

As I scream and rip my skin and my hair and my heart
Cancer is the reason I keep myself in the dark.
When my mom goes for good and they roll her down in the grave

I'll be pulling the knife from my chest as I scream

I'm coming