Aug 2015
I see those flowers sitting on the table. And all your pictures are face down so I don't have to be reminded. I called you and you didn't answer and I know I shouldn't be so surprised but I can't help it. I leave another message in hopes that you'll call me back. And all I know is the story that you left me with.
It all started on a day in October, the day before my birthday. You came up behind me and started playing with my hair. We barely knew each other. But just a few hours later we were on a bus holding hands in complete silence. It was awkward but nice. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like that. We spent the next few months learning each other's favorite bands and what kind of coffee we liked. I learned that you used to deal with anxiety and you love iron man, and you learned why I'm scared of the dark and why Christmas is my favorite holiday. We let each other in.
I remember when we were in the car and you were sad so I wrapped my arms around you for the next two hours and we fell asleep and I remember thinking it was alittle backwards but I also thought to myself I didn't know this kind of happiness was even possible and whenever we woke up you smiled and I laughed and it was all great in our little world.
I remember the day we went to the mall and you really wanted to take me to this weird restaurant and I said okay but I forgot my wallet and felt really bad when you handed me your card because you paid for breakfast and I felt like it put me in more debt because I was lucky just to be in the presence of the best person I'd ever met. My world became bearable when it combined with your world.
Now I think about all that we could've been and how easily it could've worked. But now you're there and I'm here and it's really not fair to be in love with you. Distance has really put a strain on our relationship and I see those flowers sitting on the table and I take them. I take them to that stone engraved with your name on it. All I know is that you don't know long distance until you're in love with a boy 6 feet underground.
It all started on a day in October, the day before my birthday. You came up behind me and started playing with my hair. We barely knew each other. But just a few hours later we were on a bus holding hands in complete silence. It was awkward but nice. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like that. We spent the next few months learning each other's favorite bands and what kind of coffee we liked. I learned that you used to deal with anxiety and you love iron man, and you learned why I'm scared of the dark and why Christmas is my favorite holiday. We let each other in.
I remember when we were in the car and you were sad so I wrapped my arms around you for the next two hours and we fell asleep and I remember thinking it was alittle backwards but I also thought to myself I didn't know this kind of happiness was even possible and whenever we woke up you smiled and I laughed and it was all great in our little world.
I remember the day we went to the mall and you really wanted to take me to this weird restaurant and I said okay but I forgot my wallet and felt really bad when you handed me your card because you paid for breakfast and I felt like it put me in more debt because I was lucky just to be in the presence of the best person I'd ever met. My world became bearable when it combined with your world.
Now I think about all that we could've been and how easily it could've worked. But now you're there and I'm here and it's really not fair to be in love with you. Distance has really put a strain on our relationship and I see those flowers sitting on the table and I take them. I take them to that stone engraved with your name on it. All I know is that you don't know long distance until you're in love with a boy 6 feet underground.
I miss you john <3
