The Sun begins to rise as I lay here in bed,
Listening as these questions repeat in my head.
I know I should be sleeping
But I choose to listen instead.
Searching for an answer, but most are left unsaid.

Another sleepless night, as a new day begins.
These nights are becoming dreadful, as the days begin to blend.
If only I had answers, these questions would finally end.
But my thoughts are in tangles and my mind begins to bend.

Days become a struggle just to do the best I can.
I know I need your help, im reaching for your hand.
I heard that you were with me, even when I chose to sin.
If so, dear lord I ask,  rid my life of these troubles, lift me up again.

{ I know the sky's overhead are turning black now.
You can't walk anymore, you put your head down.
Kneeling in the mud as the rain falls all around.
With tired eyes, you look to the heavens for a way out. }

" Dear Lord I'm calling out your name!
I'm on my knees in the pouring rain!
Please lift me up, wash my sins away!
I cant hold the hand of the man I was
yesterday! ”

I thought I was dreaming when I saw the bright light.
Two hands lowering down upon me from somewhere in the sky
I watched in disbelief,  startled  by such a sight
As these great hands began to open, lifting me up high.

I feel your presence surround me.
Your hands lift me up with warmth all around me,
A sense of peace flows deep
within me, so gracefully.
As I'm carried away, I drift off to sleep.…

" Fear not my son as you open your eyes. "

A voice echoed within me so deep,
waking me in fright,
I blink a few times to clear the haze from my eyes.
I realize I’m on my knees in a room of pure white.

I was clean and dry, kneeling before an alter, no more than seven steps high.
Each step trimmed in gold,
Each step draped with light.

I notice a candle burning on the floor just a few feet away.
Its flame did not flutter, It burned with pure grace but this candle was giving  off a light of its own aswell, separate from its flame.

It looked red in color,
With a flame that was burning white.
It sat in a golden holder,
Etched clearly and beautifully, with my name on each side.

Astonished and thinking this had to be a dream,
A puddle of wax began to form on the floor underneath,
And In this puddle, I began to see.
Memories of my life playing
In the melted scenery .

After several minutes of silence, I looked up in fear..
And was shocked to see Jesus, the son of God standing above me in tears.

I asked him...

" Dear Lord, why cry over me?
I have spent life in sin as I saw in these scenes."

With eyes filled with sadness he looked down on me and in a deep, trembling voice he suddenly began to speak,

“ I love you my son and there is good in your heart. You asked for my help tonight because you were falling apart. It saddens me to watch as you live your life this way. If only you would call upon me more often, you would see better days. “

Suddenly with a jolt, I awoke in my bed.
Apparently it had been a dream,
I wasn't standing before the Lord and I wasn't dead.
I sat up and began to remember, as I wiped the sweat from my head .  
My heart was still pounding and my face was flushed red.

While thinking of the dream, I noticed a difference about this day.
I woke  up with no worries, no troubles or pain.
Realizing this was a blessing, a second  chance to change.
I hit my knees and with all my heart, I desperately began to pray.

"Dear lord, I thank you for your blood, your care and your tears. I see the importance of life now, my eyes are finally clear. I pray that you join me, right here by my side. I know my past was filled with regret, but back then I was blind. With your help, Dear Lord, I can make a new life. Together we can walk the path that leads  to your light. "


- Brandon K. Stephenson