i promised i would stop
but,
you are the vice
i cannot give up,
the addiction i will always
hold on to.
the comforting
crippling
reminder
of the fate that could have been
but will not be.

it feels like years
since i've heard your voice,
since i felt your skin
against my skin.
years since
i had something
worth
letting my guard down for.

the flowers were still
in bloom
and the warmth
was plentiful.
we were alive
but,
it is winter again
even in the dead of August,
even in the smoldering heat.
it is winter
again
and i am cold
without you.