a lot of my religious friends try to explain to me what god feels like.
They often tell me something along the lines of.
"It's like the love he offers is just so big that it overwhelms you."
or
"it's like he is so understanding and comforting that you just feel completely loved."

I never really got it before I was broken.
I'm still not religious.
But when I think about how I feel about woman, it's very similar.

It's not that I fall in love with one woman.
or that I fall in love with a whole bunch of woman.

It's more like there is so much love coming from every single woman as a whole.
that it just is an all encompassing cloud of feeling less lonely.

so I flirt.
I flirt with every single woman.
sometimes they flirt back.
every healthy word sounding like another warm pair of hands on my shoulders.

I legitimately fall in love at first sight with millions of people.

I'm lonely.
need the touch,
company.
words.

When I say I need you, or I love you,
I mean it.

When I don't say it
I mean it too.
just think you'll leave if you find out.

But
I'd rather be on a porch drinking a beer with friends, then alone in my bed sexting some tinder match from new hampshire.

I'm not doing this for the ***.
don't care at all about the ***.
I just wanna be next to someone.
So when people say they beleive in god,
I understand them in my own way.
They just don't wanna be lonely.
I pray to woman all day long.
worship their bodies like alters.
Woman are this glowing cloud of comfort.

So when one says she wants me to be with me forever.
To be my True religion.
It sounds like I touched God.