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Jul 2015
The day I met you, you held my hand while my parents screamed, stayed on the phone when I didn't want to face the deafening fall out. That night I bared my body to you, forgetting you were a stranger twice my age.. You told me we are perfectly compatible, You were the one who is OCD about numbers and time while I was failing math and struggling to keep up, you should have known 14 and 27 are not compatible numbers. I once called you 3 minutes after I said I would and you ignores me for a week until I agreed to show you my **** to make it up to you. Our relationship consisted of petty arguments, razor blade insults, commands, and punishments when I didn't do as you asked. For example do you remember the time when I told you I didn't feel beautiful and you made me starve myself for three days and workout for two months, what about the time I told you I didn't want to have children till I was 20 and you told me no one would want me then and you'd never wait for my ****** to be ready to have a family. What about the times I tried to leave and you threatened to end your life, do you remember that? No... You probably don't. Because even when I close my eyes I can still see the half dozen emptied beer bottles on the floor of your ***** apartment in the background of the pictures of you with a gun to our head as you begged me to take you back. You told a 14 year old girl you put your life in her hands knowing they shook and trembled every time she heard your voice slur as you told her not to eat because she was fat or that it was her fault you beat her. you became the skeleton in my closet and the monster under my bed the ghoul peeking through the curtains and knife weilder in the laste nights. I became the dying flower in a glass jar, but unlike beauty in the beast every time a petal wilted to the ground like a tear sliding down y cheek you only got stronger. I was not your beauty, you didn't realize you were a beast. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you.
Xander King
Written by
Xander King  21/Non-binary/Oregon
(21/Non-binary/Oregon)   
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