I wanted to tell you for quite some time
not everything had been fine
it’s been awhile since we last spoke
when you read this i really hope you don’t choke

it’s been like this for years
always full to the brink with tears

how would i have ever been able to tell you
every month i get chills
when i come home and see the pile of unpaid bills

always wondering if there would be enough to eat
when there was never any money, i couldn’t sleep

how would i have ever been able to tell you
whenever i was with you i felt safe
somehow you were able to open the gate (that is me)
when nobody else had bothered to look for the key

how would i have ever been able to tell you
that i’ve been really sick
my mind had been playing tricks
i tell myself i’m ugly and fat
i already know you would have said “please don’t believe that”

how would i have ever been able to tell you
when my brother would get angry he would punch me
i typically would lunge (on the floor to avoid it)

how would i have ever been able to tell you
my mother tells me i am unwanted
when i try to get help i get taunted
always wondering if would get a proposition
to get out of this position

but tonight i’ve had enough
of teachers telling me “you are dumb”
i’m sick and tired of walking around like and idiot
and i know i’m about to do something hideous

and if you were still there, you could have shown me that you cared
but i’ve really had my fair share (of this world)
*goodbye