because i believed you because i never realized how brown your eyes really were until i had the courage to stare because you told me you were happier this way because i don't feel suicidal when i'm with you because you wanted me to meet your mother because you never ask me what's wrong because you don't care about anything because i wanted to know what would happen because i was too scared to ask because ******* for leaving the first time because i love you for coming back because you only ever touch me when you're drunk because his lips didn't feel like yours because he made me laugh but not the way you could because of 3 am nights with you are all i want to remember because 3 am nights without you sit in the middle of my chest like a boulder because my father warned me because i can't do it anymore because i can't do it anymore