To save oneself one must learn to love themselves completely.
I keep expecting you to love the things I hate.
To accept them even.
Trouble is you don't believe in accepting this twisted up part of me.
I don't blame you, it's ugly and vile, it wraps me into something I don't like.
You say to accept it would mean there would never be progress.
But what if progress can only come from acceptance?
Maybe it's not your acceptance I need, or anyone else's.
Maybe all I need is to learn to accept myself.
To understand that I'll have setbacks on my journey to recover like anyone else.
To forget the past and future, to live only in the right here and now.
If I learnt to accept and love myself maybe I won't expect mountains from you.
I'd be able to give myself the world and everything else I so desparetly need.
Perhaps then, I wouldn't suffocate you so.
Perhaps then, I'd be free.