It's hard out here for an idealist,
I wanna make everything better
Heal any rifts
You know I hate when people I
care about become strangers,
I feel bereft
I've never lost someone I didn't want to lose outside the parameters of death
Until now
And I actually cannot bear it.

I run through every possible way
I can make it alright for me, for you
At times it feels so simple, so easy
Flood my mind with elated images
Of reconciliation
All the love I could convey in one hug
To show you it really is all love
That I'd be there for you no matter what
That all we shared was real
And that I cared a lot, I care still
But just as I'm about to act
One small thought reminds me how I feel

Cause the thing is I'm an emotional idealist
And emotion doesn't always bode well with ideals
And it can take one thought, to spark one emotion that will send that ideal image to hell

I don't want to look at someone who used to make me smile like no other and feel sad
And I don't want you to look at me see I'm not smiling and feel bad.
I wish you would have trusted me to open up
I could see you were in pain
But I was too afraid to ask
We'd gone too far
I couldn't give up my hopeful ideals of us

Sometimes I wish we would have ended sooner
Like before we begun
Cause if you wasn't ready
You had no business being with me
Being number one
We were friends right? We were close no?
Then why was I rebound? Am I wrong?
But maybe you didn't realize
Until we were too far gone.
People mistake that I want forever
But being truly loved that first time
Would have been enough
Even if it didn't last

Friends Singing Frozen to me "let it go"
I don't want to though
I can't
No!
Frozen in this turmoil
Where nothing can grow

They can say look at the good times,
Remember how happy you were
But now I think
What if they were just a ******* lie?
Doubting my own experience
The frustration and confusion
Enough to make me cry

Should I take comfort in the fact
That I was a comfort to you for my time?
It's a good trait right?
But who gives me mine?
Equality time (remember that?)
Shouldn't things be shared and divided equally
Or is it just a one way street?
Shouldn't love just be given unconditionally?
Would you even accept it off of me?
Or would you just feel guilty?

Sometimes I hate my emotions
Cause they stop me from forgiving you
Walking away from you is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do
And I have to forgive cause I could never forget you
I hope I don't forever regret you
Or dismiss you
I hope one day I'll be able to look you in the eye again, give you a hug
And just let you know that I miss you

**Cause I do, I really do.