I can't take it another minute,
                        not another second or day,
I doubt everything you do and say
              since you've left.
                                  I told you,
          you'd do it
       the way
                       you've done it.
                              A shock?
                   NAW,
                     I knew it.
                                  Only surprised  
                     that you planned this
               & never planned for us to work.
            when I look at you
                                  all I see is regret
                                          &
                                        what could of been eternal bliss!
                   I refuse to allow resentment
              to settle in my bones,
                          Why didn't I listen to my heart,
                      mind & soul,
                                while it screamed NO-
              my body cried YES...
                              I cant deal with this and with YOU
            nor should I have to,
                                 I "could" withstand the silence,
                                the longing for you too
but this is unbearable
                 and cruel.
It's funny to you-
                   how this dilapidated heart's in shambles,
                          ruined over & over again
                             this time
                                                 You've caused havoc
                                worst then any other....
                                      I welcome the pain,
                      since it's something I'm so used to.
                                  "I'll never leave you"
                                Must of meant;
                                        until you'd get sick of this
                mental confused mind of mines?
                              " You're it for me",
                    "my everything"
               Must meant;
          I was everything you could use?
                                   "it for you" as in I'm "it"
       the sucker who'd believe you?
                                  I knew you'd hurt me...
                           Yet,
                      I failed to see it
                                             coming in the way that it did.
          I trusted you with all I had to give you,
                             coming to you disjointed & imperfect!!!!
  I begged of you never to
                        make us a thing of the past,
           asked for your forgiveness
                               and understanding -
            as I worked out my demons,
                        allowing you to do the same,
ever support was I when it came to you...
                      Sadly everyone else knew but me.
         Funny and laughable to you,
even to those who knew-
                       that I'd jump for you and defend YOU,
stand up and stick by you.
                       I was the **** of your jokes, the fool,
              dancing to your tune!
                        I'm crying & laughing,
  wheeewWeee- you got me good.
                     How cool is it for YOU
                           to take advantage of someone-
                  trusting in you:
            to never repeat the steps
of what others have done?
                                   But I made this my fault,
                            made it my reason to move on,
            broken as you were too,
I allowed you time to heal
                          Stuck up for you
                        
        as others blamed you
  
                    for my failing...
my demise
    
             came in disguise
               as
    "friend"
           "my boyfriend"
              "husband"
                       "lover"
                            "the father"
                         to our dead babies,
                        and
                   King of all things!!!!
Yet I snatched your crown
                           and stopped listening
after months of nothing
                           all we have is this terrible silence.
I can see clearer,
                     blaming you only shows me
the things
                        I've failed to give in return,
it shows me NOW
                            how I've failed you,
                       just as you've failed me..
                                 As of right now all I can say is
                            you'll always be
         my biggest regret-
even if in my eyes alone,
       you'll also always be
  the love of my life,

                      My one true love.

                                   Yet hard as this is for me,

                       I can't hold on to your shadow.



                    So this is

                            GOODBYE...

You've long since

          moved on

              so shall I!

                    Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®


                      K.A.C.L.N ©


   &n