1
i was in third grade when i was walking with my cousins who were thirteen and newly matured when men screamed at them
i was told not to worry that when i was old
they would do it to me, too
that it would happen to me someday soon
i would get the privilege of a man honking at the sight of my legs

i was in 4th grade when my choir director would wipe my tears and tell me
i wasn't fat when everyone else told me i was
i had the prettiest voice and i
could go digging for chocolates in his pockets
for being the best girl

i was in 6th grade when a boy in art class would slide his hand up my thigh while the teacher wasn't there
he hated me he said
i was fat

it was 6th grade when i was followed home by the man in the yellow house but everyone still says i was just scared
he still looks at me funny

i was in seventh grade when i blushed at my first cat call and held it with pride
i was old enough for this now
some boys didn't think i was fat i was a prize
i told everyone

it was seventh grade when i was at my locker
there was a breath on my neck
close your legs it smells like fish

i was seventeen when i thought i had My Own Moment
how bad do you want it he said
i think you're bleeding he said

i was in the eleventh grade when i tried to make it stop
shhh just enjoy it
i still wear those underwear

i want to know why i hate my body and crumble in fear when i see it
why did i hold my belly and ask my mom if i was fat
at age three

2
i was eighteen when i started ******* to correct the mistakes
taking off my clothes for the men who ask to see my ***** on a pixelated cellphone screen
i'm not allowed to linger on anyone's skin

my purpose on this earth is not to make you ***
there are fires inside me that you could never put out

do not **** me while on a conquest for something better
i am not available at the gas station
on your pit stop to a better place

i want to be ****** in my favorite dress
by someone who takes the time
to learn my last name