I cry so much, but I'm still not able to drown myself.
I cut deeply, but the blade never gets in contact with a vein.
I rage so much, but I never explode.
I lie, but people never seem to notice the sorrow in my eyes.
Why is that?

I waste so much energy,
I hope too much,
and I try to drive myself to the end.

I try even harder this time,
overdosing, cutting, exploding, fainting,
but none of them seem to work.

But just when my trashed life sorts itself,
my heart fails, I fail.
I'm regretting everything I have done to make this thought of death come to reality.