some days i was proud of myself for not swallowing a bottle of pills; some days i refused to be proud of my six A's and one B. you try and try and try to love yourself but some days all you can give yourself is existence.

some days i had to force myself to eat because my stomach was too full of anxiety to have any room for a slice of bread. some days all you can give yourself is breakfast.

some days all you can give yourself is food and water and air and that is okay. but you are not allowed to deprive yourself of your existence. you are not allowed to deprive the world of your beauty.

some days it was really ******* hard but every night i tried to tuck myself in, every morning i tried to do something positive, and every day i tried so ******* hard not to asphyxiate myself with the trash bag that i keep under my bed because my grandmother doesn't deserve for her only granddaughter to die at the age of 17.

and here i am. i'm okay. i'm telling myself that i'm okay. right now i'm in a dark valley and i can't see the sun over the horizon but i still know that the sun eventually will rise. there are brighter days ahead of me, and there are brighter days ahead of you.
the only way to feel the warmth on your skin is to wait for the sun to rise.
wait for the sun to rise.