The pain never really goes away, does it?
I sighed in realization that I accepted a part of me would always be dark, and broken; while the other part of me still wondered why things turned out this way.

Because when you look back at the memories, you remember the good times. Smiling, happy, free. Or so you thought. But just like you and everyone else around you there was a sickness inside of her.
An eternal sadness.. something that can’t be fixed overnight. Or by one more hit. But she didn’t know that either.

It’s not how she wanted to end up, alone and scared; desperate for a needle to subside the pain. But it was what she knew, and she had no one else to rely on in that moment.

I think about that morning over and over, I overanalyze and try to remember a detail I missed, something I could do to go back and fix this.

But the damage was done.  And you can spend days, months, years trying to change the memory and the destiny that landed at your footsteps

But your fate is sealed, and you are different now.

Forever changed, by grief; a tragedy you hadn’t written into your story. It wasn’t a mere bump in the plot, it was a **** catastrophe.  But  now it’s yours to carry, and it’s yours to overcome.

And I’ve been trying.