I raise a glass to all the boys that broke my heart
To all their words that tore me apart
To all the ones I knew were wrong from the very start
But I still believed we could work it out
If only..if only we took a different route
If I had said this and not that
If only you were a swan and not a rat.
If only If only,
But it wasn't like that
Wish I knew the remedy to you
I wish I could create a time booth
Then I would say run run away
Go before they, stray you, heart
I was the one to change your heart
If only you didn't break that fragile thing apart
I raise my glass, for you, my dearest ones

The moon lights a path
And just as the wrath of the sea
Is calmed by the eclipse
So do your lips, calm the storm within me
I'm no longer able to see hate
For it would berate the rose tinted world in front of me
Cast between the sunset and sunrise
I devise plans of how this feeling could last forever
Every touch is a love letter
Every kiss I will always remember
And in December when the dead earth cracks
I will be safe in your embrace
No trace of scars left behind by past ghosts
No room in my heart for the old hosts
Your eyes flicker with fire
Reflecting age old desires but not for lust
Rather for the notions of trust
When all else is reduced to dust
I know that I will have you by my side
To welcome the incoming tide
And just as the wrath of the sea
Is calmed by the eclipse
So do your lips, calm the storm within me.

I see a glimpse of hope
In those who unapologetically scream
I don't give a ****
I'm
Stuck between the nagging thought of self realization
And the sensations of guilt and freedom
Just as Rome wasn't built in a day
It'll take me a some time to take away the person that I really am
Yet I persevere to ram my head against the wall of perpetual instability
Held back by the humility of my elders
I carry on
Just as those before me and those long after I'm gone
I like millions of other will stay strong against the perpetual void
I am but a contextual being of my surroundings
Howling at the every day grind
Dreaming of the day I will leave it all behind
And be free
Free like the wind in children's stories
Constantly fighting against being perceived and counted as one of these bodies
An individual
A life
Full of strife and longing
Belonging to no one but myself
And maybe fairytales belong on a dusty old shelf
But as long as I breathe I will always believe and never forsake myself

-05:00 am-
Come lull me back to sleep
Darling your actions are cheap
In the agonizing moment
Where past and future collide
I swear I could see a light behind those dead eyes
Revealing your ever present disguise
You forfeit with a knife in your hand
I recoil unable to stand
What promise of love, time couldn't demand
Always leaving, hoping for more
Oh we've been here before
I can show you constellation of scars left by traces of your razor sharp words
Unheard, discarded
So the world carries on
Your thoughts plague my mind
No clue as to who's leaving who behind
Oh my darling this is an everyday grind
How I wish to find the way
To my dismay I just feel betrayed
Convinced I should've never stayed
Pills soften the days
In a flurried haze voices reach out to me
Saying: "baby worse things happen at sea."