he said i was beautiful
my scars make me beautiful
he said that we ended like a hurricane
that it was a storm and than calm
he says we ended beautifully

he killed me inside

I just need a little help
A little hope
A little nudge into the light
I'm falling
Breaking
I don't know what this is
It hurts so bad
What's happening to me
Nothing triggered
This deep burning in my soul

I listened to the album we used to listen to for the first time in years.
Hard to admit, but my eyes burned a little
Trying to hold tears back.
I can still remember the smell of your car,
A mixture of those tree shaped fresheners
Cherry, new car, pine
And cigarettes that "weren't yours"

"You can shut it down, down, down..."
This was my favorite song, I think it was yours too.
This is the one that brings it all back.

These lyrics were stupid and sounded forced,
But we gave them some meaning, I suppose.
I hadn't listened to them since the day that you left
I think the CD was still in your car when they brought to the junk yard.
It all happened too soon.

It's weird.

In high school you feel invincible.
And I know that everyone says that but I didn't realize until after.
We didn't have any plans for the future and we didn't care,
All of us.
We thought things would stay good forever.
And then nothing was the same.
All we really have left are our memories,
Not even the CD survived.

Haha.

Music - the only friend who you can listen to -
                                                       But can never answer the questions you ask.  

Music- can be responsible for your joy -
                                                      Should never be blamed for your bad actions.

Music is part of your life. Music is your friend.
                                                      What's your friend like?

- Feb 28th, 2014.     1:45 am.

I still miss you, sometimes.
In the aching quiet of the night
When my thoughts wander to the smiles
And the laughs, and kisses.

I remember how you looked at me,
Like I was the answer to a thousand questions
I know you answered all of mine
Or at least, you did at the time.

You taught me lessons.
Like how to sing freely,
And how to love
Both openly and cruely.

I'm starting to forget your voice
And the way your hand fit in mine.
The smell of your skin
Has long since been washed from my sheets

I know we'll never be friends
You don't want to see me again.
And that's alright.
Thanks for the adventure.

GOD says to me with a kind
of smile, "Hey how would you like
to be God awhile And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.

Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"

"Gimme back that wheel," says GOD.
"I don't think you're quite ready YET."

we're just two stars in the sky
two souls that will not meet
our paths will not cross
you could be living down the street
although i'll never know you
i want to wish you luck
the world can be so cruel
but please do not give up

~S.E