I don't know
for how long
have I been
a melancholy song
it's been years
I've been with my fears
swimming in my tears
only to wet my pillow
every night
losing my light
giving up the fight
I hate myself
like a book on a shelf
that's read by none
because it's no fun
I am the weird one
I try to stop my cry
be a bit stronger
hold up a little longer
but I always fail
leaving behind a trail
of weakness and vices
of these unending compromises
I **** myself everyday
by keeping words
that I should say
by following rules
that none should lay
I suffocate
I choke
and all they think is that
this is another joke
I say I'm okay
but I'm not
I say I'm okay
but I'm caught
in the middle of this chaos
in end of another phase
but this time I don't see
a reason for me to chase
I feel *****
I feel guilty
I feel so much
yet nothing at all
no reason to rise
after this fall
no reason to rise
after this fall.
I can't fight this. I can't seek help. I can't die. I can't say goodbye. I don't really know what to do. I see nothing.
I apologise for making you all read this. I really am sorry.