"I've grown up, so now I can look down."

Breathing off beat
She woke up half asleep
And knocked a picture off the bed post
He was breathing close
And fell a little less then silent to the floor
If only she had noticed
Not been thinking 'bout the dream
He would maybe breath again
And she would keep their happiness in tact
With or with out the fact of duet heart beats
Lulling her to sleep
She feeds from loving memory
When all is said and done
He kissed their happiness good bye
And lit the morbid candle
On way down falling to the floor
She never kissed the beauty of their love
Just dreamed while rolling over
Keeping track of perfect seconds
But the time to act soon came and passed
Relaxed she knocked the picture on his head.

those who have measured the true depths of hate
are never guided by the maps we know
nor by the compass or the starry show
at height of darkness that is not their fate
on the long journey for they won’t debate
the terrors or the pains there is no blow
so hard it will detain them the great flow
of history inspires them not to wait
there’s a reminder that we learn the ways
when we are children and the early signs
of wisdom we dismiss as so much guff
yet we return when we’ve fulfilled the days
of hardest learning and worked in the mines
discovering at last we’re not so tough

The day started out just like any other
Screaming boys throwing toys
Feet pounding like thunder

Tummies were rumbling
Energies depleted
Mom decided that breakfast was needed

While in the kitchen cooking
Always taking requests
Chocolate blueberry pancakes sounded the best

With pancakes on the stove
Aromas in the air
Two sets of tiny feet ran to the dining room chairs

With pancakes in sight
They squealed with delight
Ready to devour their share

While waiting for food
Conversation turned rude
One child shouted "MY PANCAKE, MOVE OVER!"

Knowing her children
Things could get heated
Trying to intervene she said "Move over, then stay seated"

Before she could turn her back
There was a shove a BOOM and a CRACK
Followed by ear splitting screaming

She pulled the cooking pancakes from the stove
Ran through the baby gate and dove
Looking to see if he was bleeding

His forehead was red
Blue and purple bruises already spread
A goose egg was starting to show

Pupils were checked
Tylenol and snuggles were given
Then mom returned to finish up her mission

A few minutes later
One hit the other with a Tow Mater
He fell to the floor
Thus ending the great pancake war

You were loved
It was a burden
You thought it would be unfair
To not return the love
So you let the deafening silence
Fill the room where your voice
Should have been

I know
You were afraid to love
And now
So am I
If it is not
You

Hell of a hole you've dug here.
Forty feet deep you could scream and no on'ed hear.

"Well I thought it would keep us safe,
at least until the coast was clear.

"Well I'm confused what you think this is"

A black voice behind us sneered.

" It ain't no safe detention it's a God forsaken fear.
The kind
that steals your breath just to whisper it back in your ear "

NOW what the hells going on?
My friend who do we hear?

"I've spoken with him before when he isn't right he's still sincere.
And he's been with us this whole way, growing with the years."

Your name is imprinted
in my mouth,
under my tongue and
scraping down my lungs,
your fingertips are finding
holes in my body
that other people have left,
and you have a piece of string
and you're trying to stitch me
back together,
sewing the holes
shut,
kissing my scars that,
if they ever reopen,
and i swear it would be an
accident,
they would bleed your name.
And your nails have left
a mark on my back,
as if by digging in hard enough,
you could make art on a
canvas made of skin
and I don't think you know this,
but, by sewing the holes shut,
you wrapped the broken bones in my
body back up,
I remember when I tried to
glue my bones back together
with glue that never actually
worked, and I never tried
stitching them up like you did.
I like to imagine you made a
row of ribbons along my
ribcage that spell out your name.
And someday, maybe these
broken bones will be fixed,
with cracks along every single
one of them that scream your
name like the air in my lungs
do, and I guess that's okay.