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I make up
conversations
in my head
constructed from the
words you never
say.

I still can't decide
if silence
would be preferable.
I keep
forgetting to
forget you,
neglecting to
regret you.
I had to look up
the word
'dating'
on Urban Dictionary
because I didn't know
what we were,
what we are.

And it said things like
'a socially acceptable
form of prostitution' and
'feelings of
puppy love that usually
dissolve
in a few weeks'.

But this is
not
puppy love.
This is not going to
dissolve or
fizzle out or
whatever,
you're not a
fizzle
you're a *******
fireworks display.

And you turn
everything in my head
into this
multi-coloured
turbulence and
I can't keep up with
how much I
adore you.

But the thing is
I don't know
if your view
is as good as mine.
What if you're
looking at something
a little less
beautiful.

What if I'm your
fizzle.

What if I'm as
temporary
as the flame you use
to light the
cigarettes
you find more
addictive
than my touch.

If that's the case
I'd rather
I left you
craving.

Because
if I'm your flame
you're my
forest fire
and you're burning
it all down until
the only thing left
standing is
you.

And I'll walk for
miles across this
carpet of ashes
just to feel the
softness of your skin
against mine.

And I'll cough
and I'll splutter
on toxic smoke
but you'll just
breathe it in because
you never realised anything
was even
lost.

You don't see me
crawl
you just know that
I'm here,
I'm here
I made it
I'm yours
I'll always be yours
because there's
nothing else
left.

And maybe
I can be
content with that
if only
you will see
that
you could burn down
everything
and I still
wouldn't put you
out.
I wish I was
sober enough
to kiss you
properly
I was addicted to you;
you were allergic to me.
© Alisandra Gray, 2014.
 Dec 2014 Özcan Mermaid
anu
Every sunrise has a sunset
Every day has a night
Every up has a down
Every start has an end
         BUT END
NEVER HAS AN END ....
my humble tribute to the end of 2014 which shows me this wonderful world HP...
Under the moon
In a unused lagoon
I swim alone
Searching for
A silver spoon
Ive heard rumors
The burial of
Old Doc. Boone
He had a fortune
Stolen from Mr. Blume
They left in his body
A Golden Harpoon
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