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 Sep 2018 Olivia A Keaton
Hunter
Sit quietly and listen
Far out of eyesight
Through the mountains and the valleys
the storm is coming
Hear that rolling thunder crashing in the heavens
Smell the sweet scent of rain falling off in the distance
Get a brief glance of lightning as it dashes high above
Dark clouds may be coming but the pluviophile knows that without the rain
There is no growth
 Sep 2018 Olivia A Keaton
Hunter
Heartbreaking
And the tears that fall down your face
Happy memories
Like malevolent ghosts of the past
Sleepless nights
Growing more and more frequent
Fake smile
Yeah I’m perfectly fine
Rubber band
Keeping me from the alternative
Days passing
Hoping to get better but with no prevail
Can not breathe
Hyperventilating and perfectly frozen
Depression
On a constant rise with no end in sight
A mistake
All I am upon this wretched earth
20 lines
And this is the end, have a good day
Silence.
I sit alone in silence.
Darkness.
Alone in the darkness, I sit in silence.
Inside my heart, there is pain.
Inside my head, I am screaming.
Questions.
To myself, I have questions.
Attention.
Do I have everybody’s attention?
Exit.
Here, I make life’s exit.

Pause.
I pause with the ounce of hope that I still matter to someone.
Will I ever be good enough or will the monster in my soul always win?
The first time I saw you it was in math class.
I didn't notice anything about you at first I just memorized the back of how your head was.
After all, I had an hour to ****.
The second time I saw you were in English class.
You sat next to me but not by choice.
But I was happy about it.
It took me about four to five weeks to talk to you,
and I wasn't even the one to speak first.
You introduced yourself and then we worked together on an assignment.
It's been two weeks and I haven't said another word and I probably won't out of random.
My anxiety swallows me whole
and I'm sorry I can't even say hello.
But I have had time to notice you.
And let me just say
I'm in love with your taste in music
I'm in love with the way you hold your books
thinking that if you change the sound of your voice when the diagonal changes,
or if you struggle reading words you've never seen before and sit there for a few seconds trying to piece together what they mean.
I love how you can play the mandolin, you should show me sometime.
As I think about these things I also pick up how you would never even think of me.
I mean really,
you probably want some girl that's outgoing and can strum a guitar solo at midnight with you.
You probably want someone with long hair you can intertwine your fingers in,
or someone you can spend an afternoon together after church with.
I can't move mountains
and I can't even speak without looking like a fool,
but even if nothing will ever happen
It would be just as quite exciting being friends with you.
We could trade books and make each other mixtapes.
It hasn't even been a month yet and I'm already writing mediocre poetry about you.
I'm sorry about that by the way.
I'm not asking for a relationship but a friendship with someone like you would feel just the same.
I wrote this in like 20 minutes and I apologize I don't even know
2013
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