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jonathan Nov 24
I can still recount the days
young, careless
unknowing, unforgiven

for it was a time of lesser worries
forgotten lunches
the finding of self

but now I have grown
and so did my problems

changing face and shape
just how I did
forming into something new all the time
just how I still do

you never rid yourself of trouble
not truly
I believe

everyone can learn to master them
because the issues can't be solved
unless I solve myself

and that's one thing I sometimes still fail to do
then again, practice makes perfect, right?
jonathan Nov 24
a dampened beat in my chest
resurrected by an unlikely event
I didn't expect it
never would've counted on it

but yet here it was,
the faint sound of my heart
haven't heard it's breathing
didn't know it was living

not after all it had been through
the things I made it fight through
mostly my own emotions
always knew I'd get caught in the motions

it was broken, bruised and cut
and sometimes almost fell apart
not this time though
it was different

you held it, softly, carefully
caressed it without even knowing
and after all those years
after all this time

my heart was polished by your gentle touch
jonathan Nov 21
every night I can feel it
the craving in me getting stronger
a gaping wound, opening once more
just to show what I lack

if you look into it
you'll be greeted by a void
for I have nothing to offer
nothing to give

fuelled by all my wishes
all my hopes and dreams
it grows larger each time
but only seeing it when I try to sleep

for the hole keeps craving
and I fail to fulfill
so all it can do is wail
ripping my chest anew

hating but adoring it aswell
for it makes me believe
that maybe one day
tt will get what it's been wanting

but maybe never
so I start to ignore the hurt it causes
only focused on the beauty it brings
but the relief is only temporary

at one point I will have to face it
before it overtakes my very being
filling it with either cement or soil
closing it or letting it grow

so each night when I lay
I shall listen to the void
and maybe one day
it will respond
for all the nights I felt like I was missing something
jonathan Nov 21
I remember sitting on my bed
waiting silently for you to turn the lights off

always hiding my emotions
but on the inside I was so soft

couldn't let anyone notice
had to seem unbreakable

no I wasn't crying
I've lost that ability long ago

and I truly know
I look so ******* ungreatful

but

I want to thank you
for helping me getting through
all of this

the night
it will end soon
can I hold on?

but I know
for every day anew
you will guide me furthermore



thank you.
jonathan Nov 21
a sound
a rhythm
an anticipation of the next beat
a thrill for the coming melody
always moving, never still

and even in silence,
wonderful, filling

numbing thoughts, mending emotions
a practical solution to impractical things

a theoretical understanding of the senselessness of feeling

bringing order into the irrational chaos
giving meaning to overwhelming confusion
and most importantly

helping to understand yourself
helping to be yourself
grasping the very essence of existence

echoing in your mind
with pictures and sound
making you feel
whole
and true
jonathan Nov 21
sometimes I think
not that often sadly

and rarely I blink
rather quick and madly

questions overflowing
is it not wonderful

answers mindblowing
barely fittin' this skull

still so much to learn
reading every book

wisdom I have to earn
and I know I'll be shook

by all the things the world has to offer
much to observe and much to know

but too much choice can make me suffer
so I don't pick anything and dim my glow
might be my weakest one, yet I can't get myself to change it at all. would love to hear some criticism, maybe someone else knows what could be bothering me..
jonathan Nov 16
words words words
words on a page
words in a book
words on the stage
words that you took

                                                           ­   from my mind
                                                            ­  my mouth
                                                           ­   my tounge


making them all be gone


                                                          ­    but where they stay
                                                            ­  is in the heart
                                                           ­   treasured in the deepest part


and not too often
should I find myself in sorrow
I'll know what I have to borrow


                                                        ­   those few words you said to me
                                                           I will keep them close forever
                                                         ­  reading them again and again


as if we are together
It feels like people that leave take something of you with them, but I have found out, that in some cases it's something I never wanted to begin with
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